Devinety Leona-Lee Jones - Online Memorial Website

I have been thinking of you a lot lately baby girl.  We miss you so much and it gets harder every day to keep going without you.  I am trying desparately, grasping at straws, to hold on to my sanity and not worry every time your brothers go to sleep.  This is a rather irrational fear as your brothers are past the age for the same problem we incurred with you.  I just can't help but worry though.  Losing you forever changed my life, and I fear nothing will ever be the same; I don't know that I will ever be whole again.  I fear that I may never truely be happy again.  Your birth completed our family and your death is tearing me apart.  I don't know what to do anymore.  We miss you so much and life is so empty without you.  We just went through what would have been your first Valentines Day without you.  All of your firsts are going to be extremely difficult for all of us.  You would have been almost 7 1/2 months old now, probably sitting up, saying a couple of simple words, crawling, and maybe even trying to stand with as advanced as you were.  We try to imagine what you would have been like today...We see a little of you in most of the little baby girls we see in public.  It is so hard to see all of those people and not want to break down in tears at my own loss and how much I miss you.  I envy those mothers raising their daughters because I was robbed of that opportunity.  I love your brothers just as much as I love you, but our relationship was different because you were my baby girl, my daughter.  I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone, not even my worst enemy.  Life is and always will be empty without you.  I wonder some days what the point is in going on without you.  I know you are in heaven laughing at all of us for being so sad because you are having the time of your life, with no fear or pain, only happiness, peace, and serenity.  I know we are silly for being so sad because you are so happy, but I can't help it.  What is the point without you.  I sit and try to come up with reasons to get up every morning, but I am quickly running out of reasons.  I always thought that if I lost one of you, my other child or children would be enough to keep me going.  I am not so sure anymore.  I find myself trying to come up with reasons why your brothers don't need me.  I know that all of this is irrational, but I just can't help it.  Like I said, Mommy is grasping at straws.  It does bring some comfort knowing you are in heaven and that you won't ever have a day of pain.  However, like most of us here on Earth, I am a selfish human being, cursing the world, begging for my beautiful baby back.  Again irrational, I know.  I just don't know anymore baby.  I just felt I needed to tell you how much you are missed and loved.  I just want to make sure you know that we would all give anything to have you back.  You were such an important part of our lives, and are so dearly missed.  We love you baby girl.  Talk to you again very soon. 

Love,
Mommy

 

A Place Where Children Are

What kind of place would heaven be with all its streets of gold, if all the souls, that dwell up there like yours and mine, were old? How strange would heaven's music sound when harps begin to ring, if children were not gathered 'round to help the angels sing. The children that God sends to us are only just a loan, He knows we need their sunshine to make the house a home. We need the inspiration of a baby's blessed smile. He doesn't say they've come to stay, just lends them for a while. Sometimes it takes them years to do the work for which they come. Sometimes in just a month or two our Father calls them home. I like to think some souls up there bear not one sinful scar. I love to think of heaven as a place where children are.

Sweet Dreams my precious little angel, I miss you so much

It kills me inside to know you're gone from us

I packed your things today and put them away

So sad without you, Missing you today

 

My sweet baby girl, gone with no warning

God took you from me, so sad, still mourning

I go on without you, although I don't know how

I miss you so much, especially times like now

I sit her alone, thinking of you

Missing you, not knowing what to do

 

I love you baby girl, please always know

From my heart, you will never go

Night Night precious baby, sleep tight

In my dreams you will be tonight

 

"Sweet Dreams Baby Girl; We Miss You"

                       

SWEET DREAMS

Sweet dreams are all I have of you, they're all you left behind.

Those cherished lovely memories, never again to find.

On earth you were so wonderful, no child could I compare

To all the love you gave to me, you were so meek, so rare.

Sweet dreams they keep me going through the long and lonely night,

How I wish that I could hug you here and squeeze you oh so tight.

If I could walk to Heaven dear, to see you every day,

Just know I'd never want to leave, I know I'd long to stay.

We parted here on earth my child, but God's will shall be done,

Then dreams will be reality for once more we'll be one.

I love you for eternity, forever and some more,

Because you were the sweetest child, the kindest and most pure.

If Heaven's full of Angels, like you were here on earth,

I thank the Lord for lending you, for giving me your birth,

One day my child I'll see you there, so please look out for me,

You'll see my smile so wide before you see my spirit free.

God takes the sweetest Angels first, this we know is true,

For He came here and looked around, my darling, He chose you!

Too Pure To Stay
At the loss of a dear sweet child
words cannot explain,
how much the heart is broken,
or how awful is the pain.

“Why doest Thou take little ones?”
I asked as I knelt to pray.
I felt His spirit telling me;
“They are too pure to stay.”

I had the warmest feeling
That my child is happy and waits,
until we are together again
past Heaven’s golden gates.

Time will reunite us.
In not too many years.
In heavens place, we’ll embrace
and joy will replace tears.
by Ron Tranmer ©